With my capacious autistic memory, remembering anniversaries can hurt, but February can be more surreal than most months. The main February milestone that I remember is from 2014, when I started a fifteen-month severe manic episode. That actually turned out pretty well—at least after the fact, as I’ve written about here; the episode itself was terrifying.
This month, I’ve been thinking a lot about coping strategies for dealing with stress, grief, and other issues. And one of the things I’ve realized is that stress itself can be useful. I don’t always do a lot of work unless I’m seriously motivated, and that motivation can light a metaphorical fire under my ass. Stress can supply that motivation to make me take action.
So, in that spirit, I wanted to name some unusual things—for me, anyway—that are leading to a lot of joy this month.
1. Mariah Carey
Not news to anyone besides recovering music snobs, but Mariah Carey can really sing! I used to dismiss a lot of pop music as lacking substance, as per the usual arguments rock critics made in favor of straight white male-dominated rock. A number of factors have shifted my outlook on pop, including work on my self-righteousness, the writing of authors like Danyel Smith and Kelefa Sanneh, and a greater willingness to dance—at least compared to before. So, when I hear a record like Carey’s “Fantasy,” I do boogie a bit.
The bigger awakening with Mariah Carey’s music came this month, listening to her belt out “My All” in my headphones and getting serious chills. I don’t care if the lyric sounds sentimental and exaggerated—she makes me feel something deeply that I never expected. So, this recovering music snob will gladly defend Mariah. It only took three decades of her massive presence in the music industry before I started to extol her greatness.