Halloween Edition: My Top 12 Country Songs about Death and Dying
Get out the tissues and feel the chills.
October is a month of several holidays and anniversaries relevant to my life, including National Coming Out Day and World Mental Health Day. For this Substack, I thought about what I could do for one of the most popular holidays in the U.S.: Halloween.
Easily the most prominent Halloween theme in music I love is death and dying. And the genre with the most relevant songs that I love is country music.
There are lyrics about death in hip hop, blues, jazz, soul, rock, metal, and punk, but despite wide stylistic differences across the last century of country, death continues to play a noticeably prominent role in country’s lyrics.
I decided to compile a Spotify playlist of over sixty of my favorite country songs about death and dying. The list includes songs in styles of mainstream country, Americana/alt.country, and bluegrass.
In my list below of my top dozen country songs about death and dying, there are songs relating to family, war, capital punishment, and domestic violence, and every one of them makes me feel something deeply, whether chills, tears, empathy, or laughter (in one satirical instance).
There are many others on my playlist that could have made my top dozen but did not, including absolute gut-wrenchers (Martina McBride’s “Concrete Angel,” Jason Isbell’s “Elephant,” Vern Gosdin’s “Chiseled in Stone,” Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss’s “Whiskey Lullaby”) and some songs where death is mentioned crucially but incidentally (Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues,” where Cash sings, “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die”).
The most notable song that did not make my playlist is Alan Jackson’s 9/11 memorial, “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning),” which I have trouble disassociating from its role in the U.S.’s general amnesia privileging the events of September 11, 2001, over most history.
I make no claims for my list being definitive or the last word. These are merely my top 12 favorite country songs about death and dying.
12. “Holes in the Floor of Heaven,” Steve Wariner
Tenderly sung and played, intimate but not sentimental, even with its string arrangement, Steve Wariner’s “Holes in the Floor of Heaven,” won both Single of the Year and Song of the Year at the 1998 Country Music Association (CMA) awards, and it’s easy to hear why this became an instant classic.
When Wariner understatedly sings, “One day shy of eight years old, my grandma passed away/ I was a brokenhearted little boy, blowin’ out that birthday cake”—the grief is palpable. And the consolation the narrator feels when it rains—“There’s holes in the floor of heaven, and she’s watchin’ over you and me”—is an exceptionally memorable metaphor that helps make this song one of the most comforting on this list.
11. “Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You into Heaven Anymore,” John Prine
This hilarious masterpiece is one of my favorites from the late Prine, whose 1971 debut included this song amidst several established classics, including “Sam Stone,” the story of a deceased war veteran that could have landed on this list.
But this satirical attack on American patriotism (read: nationalism) and the religious right—with an adult bookstore, American flag stickers, Prine dying in a car crash, and a chipper groove with steel guitar—deserves a spot here for both Prine’s humor and some of the most astute social commentary from a time filled with musical sloganeering (from multiple sides).
10. “Travelin’ Soldier,” The Chicks
The former Dixie Chicks released some exceptional records in their five-year reign at the top of the country charts, and none moves me quite like this one. The predictable storyline is made extraordinary through songwriter Bruce Robison’s eye for detail and the Chicks’ touching vocals and instrumental work. Natalie Maines’s measured but plaintive lead, masterfully controlling dynamic shifts, is a standout element, as is the intimate acoustic arrangement with dobro and accordion.
Even if you can see the death in the song coming from a mile away, this record is one for the tissues, and despite the Chicks’ career turn shortly after its release, this is one of my favorite country records of any era and most definitely deserves a spot here.
9. “Tell Lorrie I Love Her,” Keith Whitley
No singer in the 1980s new traditionalist country scene—and there are several strong contenders—touched my heart with their phrasing like Keith Whitley did on songs like “Don’t Close Your Eyes.” “Tell Lorrie I Love Her,” an original song loosely based on the decades-old hit “Tell Laura I Love Her,” was written for Whitley’s wife, fellow country star Lorrie Morgan, and became especially poignant when released after Whitley’s 1989 death at age 33.
Performed with just Whitley and his acoustic guitar, Whitley’s imagined death in the desert or on the ocean becomes haunting with or without context, and though this is obviously an intimate recording rather than a polished studio performance, its rawness and sincere love for Morgan make this one of the most simply beautiful records I have ever heard.
8. “Independence Day,” Martina McBride
One of the most important records of the 1990s country scene is also one of the most chilling songs—and videos—ever made. Martina McBride cemented her place in country music history with “Independence Day,” songwriter Gretchen Peters’s story song about domestic violence.
The seemingly upbeat musical setting quickly becomes a source of McBride telling a tragic story—ambiguous in the lyrics, not so much in the video, with the mother burning down their house, killing herself and her abusive husband. McBride’s vocal style is polished but palpably emotional, and when she sings, “Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or it’s wrong, but maybe it’s the only way/ Talk about your revolution, it’s Independence Day,” that’s one of the most powerful moments in country music history—though to be fair, the whole record is.
7. “Live Like You Were Dying,” Tim McGraw
Say what you will about Tim McGraw and the mainstream country scene he represents—this 2004 anthem is an all-time classic. The epic but open-sounding production of “Live Like You Were Dying” soars, and this may be McGraw’s best hit ever.
McGraw delivers the lyrics about narrowly dodging death with simultaneous intimacy and swagger. For anyone who’s ever longed to say, “I gave forgiveness I’ve been denyin’,” “Live Like You Were Dying” helps provide a needed catharsis.
6. “Sing Me Back Home,” Merle Haggard and the Strangers
Merle Haggard, sometimes called the greatest singer-songwriter and artist in country music history, earned his title of “The Poet of the Common Man” with masterpieces like this one. “Sing Me Back Home” is the story of a death row inmate who requests to hear music before his execution. The connection of music to memory—“Sing me back home before I die”—helps this song resonate well beyond prison walls.
Haggard spent time in prison in the 1950s, and when he related stories like this one, you can feel the reality—not merely perceived authenticity—in the lyrics and performance. He eschews sentimentality with an emotional but restrained delivery, and the story becomes greater because of it. To me, this is one of the greatest records in a classic period of country music.
5. “The Long Black Veil,” Lefty Frizzell
“The Long Black Veil” is the most fitting Halloween record on this list. One of the most eerie and richly atmospheric of all country records, a story with ghosts, murder, and cheating became more ominous with honky tonk giant Lefty Frizzell’s landmark chillingly understated performance.
With the ascendance of the more ornate and orchestral Nashville Sound in the late 1950s, this record counters that trend as one of the simplest- and sparest-sounding country records of its era, startling in its sense of intimacy.
Frizzell singing as a narrator beyond the grave adds another dimension to a song that has been covered by the likes of Johnny Cash, Joan Baez, and the Band. The final lines, repeating “Nobody knows but me” echo and fade like a voice in the wind, a startling and perfect ending to one of the ghostliest records ever.
4. “Ode to Billie Joe,” Bobbie Gentry
Singer-songwriter Bobbie Gentry created another kind of atmospheric masterpiece with 1967’s “Ode to Billie Joe,” centering around a young woman’s and her family’s differing reactions to a young man’s suicide in Mississippi.
Gentry’s deft observational skills, including with the indifference of the family to Billie Joe’s death, make the lyrics a more complex story than much of what had come before in country—or pop, as “Ode to Billie Joe” became a massive crossover hit.
The famous debate around what Billie Joe and the narrator threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge only adds to the sense of mystery, and the eerie strings create a strong call-and-response dynamic with Gentry’s lyrics and husky vocals.
Lyrically, this song is one of the least sentimental and most detail-oriented of country classics, and musically, its starkness cuts like a knife. This is an all-time classic.
3. “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” George Jones
Often called the greatest country song ever, this extraordinary record is, of course, masterfully performed and sung by the man often called the greatest country singer of them all, George Jones. “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” released in 1980, demands to be played louder than most of the songs on this list, especially with the swelling orchestral crescendo at the chorus.
Music critics like Dave Marsh have noted the tragicomic duality in this song, with the genuinely moving vocal juxtaposed with elements like the smile on the dead man’s face and the sappy recitation near the end. That fact hasn’t stopped many from being unfailingly moved by this song, and it’s easy to hear why.
When Jones insinuates and shades words like, “Dated 1962” and “Every single ‘I love you’,” with or without the strings and backing vocals, it is obvious that something is coming with a vengeance. When Jones sings that chorus and it’s revealed that the protagonist gave up loving his ex-partner only because he died, no matter how overblown this production could be on paper, it becomes indeed unfailingly moving.
2. “Can the Circle Be Unbroken,” The Carter Family
Performed by three voices and a guitar, this 1935 classic has become one of the most widely sung standards in country, folk, and gospel, usually as “Will the Circle Be Unbroken.”
The lyrics tell of a funeral procession for the protagonist’s mother, but the simple melody and spare arrangement resonate across generations, as Sara Carter’s unadorned lead vocal and Maybelle Carter’s famous “Carter scratch” guitar style amplify the song’s story.
This song must be on this list not for its foundational role in country music history or its sheer ubiquity, including at Grand Ole Opry broadcasts, but for its status as an exceptional song, arrangement, and recording. The moving lyrics—“’Undertaker, please drive slow/ For this body you are holding/ Lord, I hate to see her go’”—and the insistent drive of Mother Maybelle’s guitar could have made this recording a classic on their own, but as a whole, “Can the Circle Be Unbroken” is compelling and arresting.
Out of all the recordings on this list, this is the one that best qualifies as an all-time classic outside of the world of country music, and maybe inside of it, too.
1. “Where’ve You Been,” Kathy Mattea
Multiple recordings on this list could have made #1, and doubtless, many a country enthusiast would disagree with me placing this song ahead of “He Stopped Loving Her Today” and “Can the Circle Be Unbroken,” but this is my favorite country song about death and dying for at least one reason: this is one of the most genuinely moving and well-written songs I’ve ever heard.
The song’s structure is of the “Three-Verse Life Cycle song” variety that scholar Nadine Hubbs argues is a working-class tradition in country music. “Where’ve You Been” revolves around key times when the protagonist asks the title question. Without spoiling what happens, it knocked me out the first time I listened to this song.
This is one of my favorite love songs and story songs in country as well, and its chronicle of a partnership across decades is expertly rendered by Kathy Mattea’s rich alto voice and tender performance. This record stands out from Mattea’s good but less memorable records of the time (i.e., “Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses”).
The song’s production doesn’t overwhelm with a feeling of grief the way that “He Stopped Loving Her Today” does, but the delicate, sparse arrangement of piano, acoustic guitar, bass, and minimal strings works well with Mattea’s vocal—so well that if you’re not paying attention to the story, the record’s understated nature won’t hit you.
Jazz giant Charlie Parker once said about country music to a detractor, “Listen to the stories!” I can’t think of a better example of brilliant storytelling in country than in this incredible song and record.
What are some of your favorites? Please comment!