In addition to my recent announcement about the biggest honor of my life to date, there’s been a lot happening for me. Much of it embodies what I consider success in terms of persistence. I don’t want to be a symbol for able-bodied folks to call an “inspiration” at the expense of disabled people who have different struggles, but I am excited to keep engaging with the world in new ways.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of resilience, especially in terms of toxic positivity from a dominant culture that minimizes people’s circumstances in the name of such statements as, “Everything happens for a reason.” My response to that statement is that if that’s true, the reason isn’t always good or godly; sometimes that reason is from systems of oppression, for example, that are worth acknowledging, but not celebrating.
People praise me for being resilient, but in a society that isn’t oppressive to marginalized groups, including neurodivergent and LGBTQ people, I could flourish without society kicking me down and praising me for surviving rough circumstances. In other words, I’d rather not have to fight against marginalization and oppression, but since I do, all I can say is that if I weren’t resilient, I wouldn’t be anywhere. I’m glad, though, that today I am flourishing–not merely surviving.
In that spirit, I present ten categories of updates that illustrate what I think of as success. I’ve heard multiple people call me exceptionally persistent, but while I’m not sure I have a choice but to be resilient, I take more pride in my persistence because I feel like I do have a choice in that. Persistence is more worth honoring to me.
Honors: I spoke on a previous blog about winning the Illinois Woman’s Press Association’s 2024 Communicator of Achievement award, which means I will be competing for the national COA title from the National Federation of Press Women. The results will be announced in June; here is the NFPW newsletter with information on me and the other nominees. In the meantime, the IWPA awards ceremony on May 25 will be honoring me as COA and an award winner in the Professional Contest, and I will also be giving out awards as the High School Communications Contest Chair.
Work: I had my first job interview for a full-time position in months, and I’m doing different projects with especially embedded tutoring (which is like being a teaching assistant) in three developmental classes at one school. I also heard an exceptionally inspiring speaker, Christopher LeMark, speak about mental health at a big presentation at my other job. LeMark is the founder of Coffee, Hip-Hop & Mental Health, which sounds like an amazing organization that I’d like to get more involved with.
Storytelling: the biggest news is that I got to tell my “Recovering Music Snob” story at a corporate Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion event for Wintrust Bank with Tellin’ Tales Theatre. The audience had at least 25 people and was engaged with issues of disability and asked great questions about allyship to disabled communities. There is also a video of the last show of “Hands Up! Body” only available through April 21–it was a fantastic show and I highly recommend you watch it! I also submitted a story for the theme of “WIN” for You’re Being Ridiculous that I’m hoping will be accepted for performance at Steppenwolf Theatre in Chicago in June!! You can submit your story by April 29!
Conferences: I attended my first international conference, the Popular Culture Association/American Culture Association annual conference in Chicago, and it was so much nerdy fun! I gave a presentation on my journal article on author James Baldwin and music and got to attend amazing panels on music, fairy tales, biography, LGBTQIA+ studies, and disability studies. The last one especially made me want to read a number of books on disability issues, including the recent novel Cassandra in Reverse and the scholarly text Authoring Autism: On Rhetoric and Neurological Queerness. As mentioned before, I am planning to attend the June NFPW conference where I am nominated for a major honor. I also recently applied to the Bowling Green State University Summer Research Institute to work on my research project on music and freedom, which would also be a very exciting opportunity.
Writing/Reading: With National Poetry Month, I read Walt Whitman’s landmark 1855 book of poetry, Leaves of Grass; reread the updated edition of cultural critic Hanif Abdurraqib’s essential essay collection, They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us; a short collection of readings coedited by former NFL player Colin Kaepernick, Our History Has Been Contraband: In Defense of Black Studies; reread Kelefa Sanneh’s Major Labels: A History of Popular Music in Seven Genres, a richly rewarding text on many levels. And I’m currently reading poet Zachary Pace’s essay collection on women singers and queer identity, I Sing to Use the Waiting, which is brilliant so far.
Publishing and Upcoming Writing Projects: As expected because of the competition, my 33 1/3 GENRE book proposal was turned down. So I am definitely moving on to the next projects, on freedom and alternative concepts in music/literature/culture and a possible manuscript of personal writing on music, including a long-in-the-making personal essay on the music of jazz icon Ella Fitzgerald.
Self-Care: This might sound pretentious, but what exactly is self-care? While pondering that and related questions (like other names for this, to me, overused term), I’m working significantly on taking better care of my teeth and my food, including by cutting back on sugar and working on my recovery in different areas of my life.
Public Appearances: In addition to the IWPA luncheon and conferences coming up, I am making an appearance at a middle school this week to talk about autism. I am preparing an event on Autism, Neurodiversity, and Mental Health at my hometown library, the Wilmette Public Library, on May 2 with my friend and fellow author, MV Perry.
Music: I’m getting involved at the Old Town School of Folk Music, where I’ve occasionally attended concerts and classes over the last decade-and-a-half, and recently, I became a member of the institution. Recently I’ve seen archivist, scholar, and virtuoso musician Jake Blount, and this weekend, I got to see the ever-hilarious folk singer-songwriter Cheryl Wheeler (below) with Kenny White. Being an OTSFM member allows borrowing privileges from their non-circulating library, an incredible Resource Center, from which I recently checked out a few soul and bluegrass CDs. I am overloaded with an embarrassment of musical riches for resources, and I couldn’t be happier about that.
Family: My immediate family has two people who recently celebrated birthdays, and here is a song for one of them. Happy birthday to my brother Mike.
I remember when you taught me math when we were little kids
I remember when I learned you cared at a time that no one did
And I remember how we grew apart as people do sometimes
But what I know matters more than what's in my mind
What's in my mind is I have so much to be angry about, 'cause I've focused too much on the past
But what's in my heart is love for the man who shows me every day that loyalty can last
'Cause when shit goes down and the world explodes, I know we need each other
And at the end of the day, all I can say is . . . you are my brother
One night I sent an angry text with rage storming in my head
I cut you off for a little while 'cause I was drowning in resentment
But the thing about blood is, it's stronger than anger, and we'll need each other down the road
So, I'm here today to show up and say, I'll help carry your load
'Cause what's in my mind shifted a long time ago when I was focusing on the past
And what's in my heart is love for the man who shows me every day that loyalty can last
And when shit goes down and the world explodes, I know we need each other
And at the end of the day, all I can say is . . . you are my brother.